dear diary..

in the last week...

i have wondered if fantasizing about hurting the dog is considered postpartum depression

fell asleep in line at whole foods and awoke to a man behind me saying "move it or lose it"

sent nick out to buy "the baby whisperer"

ate roughly 1,000 candy hearts

threw a valentines themed bring a dish and come see Ellie pledge class plus date party

got a massage and the knots were back in a record 3 hours

used a baby hat as a breast pad

looked for something that i was holding in my hand

put Elle in her crib for the first time

sent Nick back to work after 10 weeks of paternity leave

wore jeans that have a button and zipper

started shedding

went to vegas for sun and a change of scenery, which allowed me the privilege to nurse and change diapers in some amazing parking lots

overcame my biggest postpartum fear, i may actually have more than one child

oh the boss is calling, at least she is cute, here is a picture for your troubles

one month..oops never posted

just noticed that i never posted this (pathetic) post...and reading it now is hilarious because feeding and sleeping "whenever" is exactly why i read the baby whisperer today and can i say that i am more confused than ever....the author contradicts herself and ugh...who knows
anyway might as well post this, i think i am going to start posting again

how can four weeks seem like a lifetime while at the same time feel like a few (long) days?

i thought i would write down some random things (surprise, surprise) in case she ever asks me what she was like at 1 month old or if anyone still checks on this poor blog.

Elle Belle, you are 1 month old and cuter each minute! each time you wake up from a nap i swear that you have added a few ounces to your cheeks, (oh, those cheeks). you eat about every 3 hours, from the start of one feeding to the next so usually it ends up only being 2 hours! or you just eat whenever you want (as you should) and you sleep whenever you feel the need, you do always stay up late until about 1 am regularly. you love your baths. daddy likes to stick out his tongue at you and wait for you to imitate him, and now you just stick out your tongue as soon as you see him! you are now filling out your newborn clothes but are still swimming in the 0-3 month outfits. at your 2 week appt you were 7.8 lbs and 20 inches and your little head was in the 12th percentile! in the past few days it seems as though you have woken up, you love to play and interact! you are more fun each day!

i feel great-ish
i can zip pre-preg jeans but on the rare occasion that i leave the house i still wear maternity jeans
i am still sore
very sore
anxious to get back to walking each day and pilates classes
struggling with cabin fever, with the cold weather and inversions it is almost impossible to even get outside to take a walk

baby E

Eleanor Grace

born December 12, 2010, five days early
at 8:58 am, 12 hours after my water broke while eating my salad in the ballroom at the Grand America Hotel at Nicks' work Holiday party, minutes after one of the partners introduced Nick to the room and said "...and his very pregnant wife, she has promised not to go into labor tonight, they are here tonight as their last hurrah (??)"
6 pounds 15 ounces (same as her mama)
19 inches long (same as her mama)

picture taken at 6 days old