out of the mouth of babes!

some of you chi-friends have heard some silly things that i have said or heard lately in my preschool class but i thought i would post some new ones and old favorites!

me: is that your baby?
3 yr old: no, if i had a baby i would THROW IT AWAY, or give it to my mom and dad

me: lets go inside and put some sunscreen on
4 yr old: don't worry about my outsides...just worry about my insides where my blood is!

2 1/2 yr old: miss kristin, did your mommy no bring you a dooche-bag today?

4 yr old: get me a juice box, BIATCH!

said w/ a 4 yr old speech impediment: TEACHER, PULL UP YOUR PANTS!

3yr old girl: its very important to wipe your vagina
me: i know it is very important
3 yr old girl: if you don't you get HOT PEE
me: what is HOT PEE?
3 yr old girl: um, its when you don't wipe your vagina and then when you pee your pee is very hot and burns

2 1/2 yr old: miss christmas, you have a boo boo on your head
me: sort of, its a pimple
2 1/2 yr old: oh, you be careful

reading a book, man has a beard.....kids want to know what it is and why
me: a beard is just hair on your face, sometimes dads and grandpas have beards, whos dad has a beard?
3 yr old: not my daddy...my mooommy

things i have had to say lately:

"please take the bacon out of your pants"

"we do not ride our sister in our classroom"

"please do not check your friends bottom with our toys"

"do i bite your bum?... please do not bite my bum"

"please put your tears away, she did not steal your hair, she just has red, curly hair like you"